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Chronicles of Dubya Volume 1 Sample |
The Chronicles of Dubya
Volume 1: The Defeat of Saddam and NTM Publishing FAQ Q. You claim this is the dumbest book
ever written about the Bush administration, yet there quite a few books—many
very dumb—that have been written on that subject. How can you claim
such a thing? 
A. NTM
Publishing is never afraid to make completely unverifiable claims about its
books. Q. Does the Bush administration approve
of this historical document? A. They haven't done the opposite. Q. What qualifications does Frank J.
Fleming have to write about political events? A. He can name at least two of the three branches of government off the top of his head and can almost correctly spell "Condoleeza." Q. If I don't find the book funny, can I
return it for a full refund? A. NTM Publishing is not liable for your own mental defects. Q. Is this book making fun of President
Bush or making fun of those who make fun of President Bush? A. It's just making fun of stuff. Why put so much meaning behind it? Keep coo', yo. Keep coo'. Q. When will Volume 2 come out? I'd like
it soon. A. Volume 2, which will cover Bush's reelection, will come out when NTM Publishing decides it should come out. We are a powerful publishing company and don't need your input on such matters. Q. Other than the hilarity that will
benefit me when I read the book, what other advantages are there to owning The Chronicles of Dubya? A. I'm glad you asked that. The Chronicles of Dubya will increase your IQ and sexual stamina. The overwhelming power emanating from it will ward off both vampires and evil biting monkeys. Also, this sturdy, 368-page paperback is great for using as a training tool for your dog. Q. Please describe this innovative
training technique. A. When the dog is engaged in an undesired behavior, continuously whap the dog over the head with this book until the undesired behavior stops. Q. That sounds like animal abuse. A. If you were near me, I would whap you in the face with The Chronicles of Dubya until you shut up. Q. I don't remember a lot of the events
described in this book or the politicians saying the things this book claims
they said. Is this book fiction? A. Everything described is a hundred and ten percent accurate. It's about things that happened in 2002 and 2003, so you probably just don't remember things that well. Q. I think I'd remember if an ancient
Japanese demon entered the Democratic presidential primary. A. And I think you should shut up. How about that? Q. Making fun of potential customers
doesn't seem like a great business model. A. The stance of NTM Publishing is that our book is so great that we do have the luxury of verbally abusing potential customers. |
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NTM Publishing, Inc.